What (Else) Can Men Do? Grow The Fuck Up. | Medium (via shitrichcollegekidssay)
Is it any wonder that when those young geeks and nerds grow up, they don’t become an empathetic and enlightened new breed of men, but rather, even worse incarnations of those who bullied them?
Just go check out the tech, comic book, and video game industries.
The intention behind those messages—that intelligence and hard work are valued more by your peers as adults than as children, that you can grow out of your awkwardness and into a person people love, that the meanness displayed by bullies gets old and that kindness becomes valued (and if these kids are being told this at the same age I was, it’s before bitterness sets in and the kindness turns sour and fake and becomes a tool, at the time when we should be learning that we aren’t entitled to others’ affection so that our gap in understanding doesn’t turn toxic as it inevitably does if we aren’t set right)—is good, but it needs to be communicated in a way where that comes through instead of the message, “You are better than everyone around you and you will get what you deserve, including being granted a woman who fits into your adolescent power fantasy.”
We should be telling these boys, “If you build on what’s good about you and try not to get bitter, as you get older, you’ll be more likely to find people who appreciate what you have to offer,” not, “You are entitled to money, power, and sex, and you will get those things by virtue of your personal brand of greatness.”
Damn, Stevie just fuckin nailed it.